Editing The Soldier

{{TAAPG}}
The Soldier is a super racist, sexist, homo and transphobic character and hates people who own air fryers.{{Character_Box_1|title=EPIC AMERICA NUMBER 1|caption-image='MURICA|fullname=Jane Doe|species=[[File:murica.mp3]]<ref>https://youtu.be/e2NXwSY1M3o?si=Txvf2Rc3CBACkTyD</ref>|gender=White|born=probably I guess|family=- America <small>(father)</small><br />- Freedom Eagle of the USA <small>(Grandfather)</small><br />- Administrator <small>(theorized mother)</small>|home=Some shit mansion with some smelly wizard|affiliation=Ka-boom|nationality=FREEDOM!!!!!|rank=White Straight Male epic American ka-boom explosion freedom cheesburger capitalism dollars|appears=WTF2|actor=Pablo Gonzalez 2004
|imagegallery = <tabber>
|-|Soldier=
[[File:aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.jpg|250px]]
|-|Sigma=
[[File:sigma-soldier.png|250px]]
|-|??=
[[File:Soldier-cursed-dance.gif]]
|-|Soldier's Trans Phase (I forgot what image was supposed to be here)=
[[File:trans-soldier.png|250px]]
|-|Nudes=
[[File:nudes.jpg|250px]]
|-|Bread=
[[File:bread.png|250px]]
|-|Stripper mode=
[[File:stripper-soldier-i-guess.jpg|250px]]
</tabber>
}}

==Appearance==
[[File:Tf2-soldier.gif|left|frameless|200x200px]]
He looks actually quite average. Also he is incredible insecure with his eyes therefore he hides them under his helmet. He also uses his helmet to cook soup and he literally never cleaned that shit up (don't wear it, it's full of fucking insects). He does not wear socks.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>
==History==
Soldier was born somewhere west murica and is literally the child of America, it's like god and jesus but it's America and Soldier. After 9 months he has hatched out of a fetus placed inside a McDonalds ice cream machine. (don't worry they are constantly broken anyways you won't eat soldier fetus rests in your ice cream)

[[File:America-and-soldier.jpg|left|thumb|America handing over a gift to Soldier at his 6st birthday]]He grew up like a normal american; really stupid and can't math shit nor knows any country other than america. But they invented burgers and sex so america is fucking epic. #SCREEEEEEEEEEE<br /><br />
At school he bullied every child that was smaller than him and cloaked the toilets.<br />[[File:Emo-soldier.png|thumb|Soldier selfie he posted on tumblr during 2010|left]]<br />He skipped high school, had an emo phase when he was a teenager and posted selfies on tumblr and myspace. He also had a gay ass Monster High doll collection and made his barbies look edgy too.<br /><br />

When he was 19 he lost his virginity to 20$.

During WW2 he wanted to do some fuck hitler and fuck germany stuff, but the army didn't want him. Later that day he cried in the corner of his room until his dad America told him he should just kick german ass anyway. He flew to poland and killed a bunch of "nazis" until he noticed WW2 has already ended years ago, he spend too much time playing GTA SA that he didn't even notice years have passed. And he wasn't even in poland, he was at the north pole because he can't read shit, and he didn't kill "nazis" he just killed a bunch of polar bears.<br /><br />[[File:Homofobeeah.jpg|left|thumb|Rare discovery of campaign banners from Soldier's presidential campaign.]]He tried to run for president during the 50s as he thought he is just the ultimate american and perfect role model for the young freedom fighters of the country, but he lost to Obama because he had a more impressive collection of pokemon cards.
[[File:Wtf.jpg|thumb|Soldier sports bag merchandise]]<br /><br />In order to earn money, he took OnlyFans like selfies and printed them on various objects and sold them on ebay.<br /><br />

<br /><br />Some year during the 1960's his dad asked Soldier if he wants to join the fight between the Red and Blu shit brothers as a mercennenenry since his dad was close friend's with the administrator. Especially shortly before Soldier hatched the friendship between America and the Administrator was very special ඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞ. 

Not long after working there he got BFF's with [[The Demoman|Demoman]]. Many people assume that Demoman handed Soldier a N-word pass, but this is false since everyone had a N-word pass in the 60s. He also was convinced that all of his team8s are muricans, he thinks that medic's funni accent is just from alaska. <br /><br /><br />[[File:Rock-soldier.gif|left|thumb|<center> :O </center><blockquote></blockquote>]]<br />(much ka-boom stories here) <br /><br />

He teleported bread and had a relationship with a bucket, that might have escalated but I dunno...<br /><br />

<br />While being super racist against anything that even dares to not be american, THIS HYPOCRIT LITERALLY FUCKED RUSSIAN PUSSY. He had super hetero sex with Heavy's sister, BRUV. But since she's, well, russian, he tries to americaphy her in true american fashion, his father would be so proud man. 

Here a few photos taken of Soldier making his russian wife a true AMERICAN!!!: <gallery>
File:Zhanna1.PNG|Soldier about to fuck russian pussy
File:Zhanna2.jpg|They did sex
File:Zhanna5.PNG|Soldier showing Zhanna american exclusive stuff
File:Zhanna7.PNG|Soldier americaphying Zhanna
File:Zhanna3.PNG|Zhanna being almost full american
File:Zhanna4.PNG|Zhanna being full american
</gallery> [[File:I-hate-this.png|thumb|I hate this why is the box so fucking long bru]]While some really dramatic stuff happened and a lot of storyarch, he and his wife where fighting around naked covered in honey. This caused him to be involved in a multimillion-dollar lawsuit by PETA. <br /><br />

Years later Soldier and Zhanna's first child [[Mike Teavee]] was born. Not shortly after Zhanna gave birth to their other child Donald Trump and Miley Cyrus. 

During the [[Team Fortress 2 Comic 7 (leaked)|unreleased comic #7]] events, he has saved the [[Duo]] owl from the [[The Engineer|Engineer]]. If he just appeared a few seconds later Duo wouldn't have made it and would never have posted twerk videos on tiktok. He later joined the resistance that is still working on a better name in order to defeat the god powerful [[The Engineer|Engineer]]. During the battle, he got his balls kicked in by Heavy for getting his sister pregnant. 

Soldier was killed 2014 by area 51 guards for attempting to escape with a highly classified item—Windows 9. 

==Trivia== 

*He likes to cut his toe nails with his teeth.
*Eats pizza hawaii.
*His ball hair is 10 inches long.
*Broke a FNAF 2 speedrun.
* He is responsable for browser search history option.
*His favourite Madagascar movie was Madagascar 3.
*Still orders Happy Meals (can't blame)
[[File:American-soldier.jpg|left|thumb|252x252px|Soldier if he was american]]
*


[[File:Young-soldier.png|center|thumb|Soldier playing fruit ninja]][[File:Rizz-soldier.gif|left|thumb|''Capitalizmmm'']]
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{{tf2}}
[[Category:American Heroes]]
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[[Category:War Criminals]]
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[[Category:Racists]]
[[Category:White Supremacists]]
[[Category:Peanut butter lovers]]
[[Category:Autism]]
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