Michael Rodent

Michael Hartwell "Mickey Mouse" Rodent, Sr., also known by the pseudonym Mousenberg, is an American chemist, school teacher, spy, detective, contortionist, Vietnam vet, and major narcotics distributor from Albuquerque, New Mexico, whose drug empire became the largest meth operation in United States history, surpassing those of both Peg Leg Pete and the Cartel. Before entering the drug trade, Walt worked as an overqualified high school chemistry teacher at J. P. Wynne High School while holding a second job at the A1A Car Wash to financially support his family: his wife Minnie, his son Michael Jr., and his infant daughter Holly. After being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, Michael began manufacturing chemically pure methamphetamine to provide for his family upon his death. Knowing nothing about the drug trade, Walt enlisted the help of his former student, George Geef, to distribute the meth he produced.

He is the creator of FloridaMan. Before his marriage, he'd often jack off to lewd centerfolds of his future wife Minnie, and his sperm inexplicably formed to become a monstrous creature beyond his control, FloridaMan. He served to do absolutely nothing but to create chaos and destruction and is purely responsible for the drowning of Michael's father, Mr. Walt Disney.