Dick Dastardly
Richard "D*ck" MILFhaus "Nixon" Hohenzollern-Dastardly is a huge ass dick who's best known as being one of the villains of all time. Also known for his evil goofy ass laugh and retarded catchphrase, he first appeared as the main antagonist of various 1960s Hanna-Barbera cartoons (most famously among them, Wacky Racers.) During the 5720s, he became best known for looking like Waluigi and for being a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 fiend who sided with 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Fox, Sir 𝓒𝓾𝓶, and other untrustworthy members in order to troll normies. His reasons for becoming a troll terrorist is because he got fucking sick and tired of NPCs like Mr. Game & Watch's bitch ass making fun of his name, and being a better racist than him. As a result, he joined the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Susiety to get together with other criminals. Within the society, he and his pet dog Muttley plan to destroy all the major racing shows like NASCAR and F1 to show that he is the superior troll. In the end, despite being a potential backstabbing dickhead like many other 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓼, he's still loyal to the organization's goals and a sworn elite member.
He is an arch-enemy of some dumbass dove, a comedic frenemy to Waluigi, and a homie to the naïve and innocent Squirt.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- He is partly based on the English actor Terry-Thomas.
- Furthermore, he is also partially responsible for the modern day stereotype/aesthetic of what a villain/𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻 looks like.
- He is one of the 8 godly racers.
- He fucking hates Tesla and wants to bomb Elon Musk.
- He is Kaiser Wilhelm II's son and SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
W̷̢̨̛͉̬̱̰̱̤͖̙̖͓̝̬̠̤̞̰̼̣̬̮̫̹͗͊̋̈͊̆͊̑̔̀̆͋͊̽͐̿͊̓͌͑̐̑́̍͐̏͗͊̓̊̅̅͋̎̇̓͑̊̋̔̂̀̄̚̚̚̚͝͝a̷̡̧̺͚̫̹͙̦̻̺̬͈̹͇̣͔̪̗̯̱̺͕̘̱̻̦̪̤̯̺̩̲͙͗̾̄̄͑̇̊̈́̈́͌̈́͆̀̇̔̽̄͒̀͋̃͊͐̐͂͋̎̒͘͘͘͘͠͝͝ͅͅͅl̸̛̛̛̘̥͆̄́̌̽̀̉̈́̌͊́͂̔̏̓̈́̍̄̒̄̓̄̈́́̊͆̕̕͝ư̶̡̧̡̡̛͚̲̗̰͚̗͍̝̘͇̝̻̥̥̩͉͚̜̣̲̥̻̝̳͚̞͇͎̰̗̐͑̌͆͋̍̌̉̌͗̀̈́̓̊̀̅̆̾̆̀̒̏̔́́̆͗͛̚̚̚͜͝͝͝į̷̛̛̙̪̭͖̻̔̋͐͌̀̓̉̇̌̇͋͘͜͝͝͝g̵̛̯̜̙͎̙͚͕͓͚̞̣̗̞̼̗͚͙̝͍̭͚̘̩͎̭̒̌̏̎͛͂̅͐̽͒̆̄͋͛̌̓̊̀̐̇̄͗̚̕̕͠͝͠͠͝i̸̢̢̠̲͍͉̙̜͓̯̮͔̺̱̻̣͕̜̜̖̣̠̗̼̲̻̱͔̍̉̏͊̈̑̿̈́̈́̌̓̂̍͐͝ͅͅͅ'̴̨̢̥͍̙͕̪̗̱͙̲̝̩̪͖̳͒̀̂̅͌̾̈́̂̇̔͑̅̓̅̂̓́̆̓̏̋͘͝͝s̸̨̨̢̨̡̧̢̛̫̟̞̙͕͕̞̦̙̹̖̘̬̮͕̩͕͍̭̙̲͎̹̙̺̣͎̩̞̝̙͖͙̞͉̘͕̘̘̋̾̎̔̒͛̋̈́̄̇̅̊̌́͐͐̄̍̅͒̎̀̐́̀̀̆̂̍̀̔̅̈́̍̚̕͝͝ͅ ̷̧̢̡̱̝̟̘̣͚̫̙͓̞͖̱̫̘̟͇̺̥̯̖͔̱͕̦̦̯̥̩̿ͅͅf̶̨̢̛̫̬̫̥̞̻͔̺̘̼͔̰̞͔̩̠̝̪̩̖̱̝̝̪̞̂̄̾͂͒̾̇̒̎͂͒͐͛͋̊͊̎͒̍̈́̿̓̓̂̈́̉̊͛͐̂͝ą̵̛͖̠̲̱̤̠͕̰̹̼̼̬̲̖̻͙͚̰̆̀̓̆̒̓͌̔̊̿̆̑̿̔̃̓̈̈͒̒͊̄̅̈̅͋̀͋̎̇̌͐̇̈̕̚̕͠͠t̶̨̨̢̬̝͇̹̞̙̖̜̖̣͉͖̮̺͓͖̼̳̺̲͔̣̟͖̜̮̩͚̯̲̬̭̺̫̮̾͊͂̃̌́͗̆̈́͐͘͝ͅͅḩ̵̨̪̜͚̯̝̥̟̘͖͇̗̦̱͉̜̤͝ͅę̶̧̲͙͈̘̭͍̊̉͒̍̄̌̉̒r̵̨̧̧̛̛̳̝̯̞̻̹̦̱̼͕̻̟͙̗̬̠̯͇̪̤̣͍̜͔̱͔̀̃̔̂̃͛͊̑̄́̔̉́̐̉̾̆̎̏̎͗͐͆̍̏̀̄̑̕̕̚͠͝- Ṣ̵͉̣̤̄̅͗̐̊͝i̴͖̦̹̘͉͂m̸̖̭̼̓̔̈́̈́i̶̝̞͓̾͒͋̽͌l̷̯̈́à̶̫̊r̸̲̰̝͊͋̎̉͊̚ľ̵̨͎̮̰͜͠y̶̧͔̺͖̣͗̚ ̶̰̈́̅t̵̝̉̏̽̉̇̕͜ȏ̸̭̜̻̥̲̩͝͝ ̷̨͓̝͇͉͌̍̓L̸̢͔̦͈̫͈̉̾̑̂̈́ụ̸̮͖̤̿k̶͉̎̑̏̏̈́͝e̴̥̖̙͆ ̴̰̪̜̮͚͗͊͛̆S̷͍̙̹̜̱͒͋̕k̷͖͂ỳ̴̢̢͚̝͎w̴̡̢̰̝̼͒ä̴͈̭̹̮̞́l̴̡̟̲̪̓̋̋̔͊͆͜k̵̼͉̭̻̜̼̿̿ḛ̷͖̟͔̦͋r̶̖͐͒̊͠͝ ̸̡̣̥͉̙͓̐a̵̗̹͉̒̐̈n̴̡̰̯̰͑̽͑͊d̴̡̺̽̐ ̴͕̳͉̒̏Ḑ̸̛̺͕͋̈́̈́̈́̏ͅa̷̧̧̭̬͗͑r̷̨̲͓̘̈́̐̍͋ṱ̴̳͍̩̈́̒̌͝h̴̢̘̼͉̓̏̃͜͜ ̴̗̮̱̣̱̞̐̑V̸͔̺̻͍̬̝͝a̸̯̘̤̐̿̿͑d̶͎̬̤͕͋̋̀͆̀̈ȩ̷̬̇ř̶̡̪͙̀͑̚͘ͅ,̵̬̈́ ̶̖̱͂̀̾͆͝͠W̴̤͓̜̠̭͑̒̍͗͛à̶̤̗͇̗͇͂̍͒́͌l̸̢̯̈́̔̄̈́̚ȕ̸̲̪͉̹̮̿͌̈́̍͘i̴̬̞͈͉̽̏͂͊̓͝ͅg̷̣͔͙͋̓͂̒̈́ͅi̴̡̮̝͉̞̿͋̌̽ ̵̥̣̩͒͒̎̅͐h̸̤̥̺̥͈̉̀͌͝ͅa̴͉͇̰̦͒̉̂͑̀d̶̙̗̘̫̆̍ ̴̙͈̣̖̘̺̓̀͒͝ṇ̶̢̯̠̻̑͊͆͗͝ó̴̘̲̈̀͐ ̴̧͔̣̳̼̏̀̑ḟ̵̧̨̜̞̩͙̽͆u̴͇͍̣̒c̸͓̰̞̈́̅̒̑ḱ̵̢̭͚̳̬̔̽̚ì̴̯́n̵̯̩̐g̵̞͐̅̚ ̵͈̩̋͊̈͝i̴̧͆ḑ̶̺͚͇͒̑̃̂͝͝ẻ̶̤̈̽̾̍a̵̫͆ͅ ̵̣̠̺̐̎̇͋̋ͅD̷͍̰̏͋̍̇͘į̸̞̯̐c̶̰̪̜̍̈́̚k̴̳͒̑ ̸͔͕̟͉̃̄̆͗͝w̶̘̤̜̠̹̜̅̌͊a̷̱̗̜̣̾̈͠ͅs̴̢͖̗̙͇̈̍̏̅̓ ̷̝̼̄h̴̲̥͔̔͛̽̔͊ͅỉ̶̭̘͕̼̩̥͌̄̈́s̵̢̙̬̭̆̕͝ ̷̛̙̹̬̑̄̍̌͝f̶̗̱̿̓a̸̢̭͕͐̂̎̄͋̎ţ̵͕͓̞̪͓̔h̶̗̣̙̬̒e̶̢̳̼̾r̶̲̂̀̀̇ ̷͈̺̱̤͈̙͊̒͘͝͠ȗ̸̩̠͇͉̖̫͒́͋̓n̸̳̫̈́̓́́t̵̡̝̼̻̺̋͋́̅̕í̴̠̠̺̺̀͒͜l̵̮͛ ̸̧̧̛̲̫͍͈̓́́̌͠t̴͖̣̲͕̉͆́̎̉̈́h̴̭͈̱̐́ě̵̢̳̝̠̈̍͗̄͘ͅ ̴͕̦̮͂̄ẽ̵͉̳̙̙̠̿̑̉͒͜p̴͔̍̆́͝i̶̢̖͚͕̬̠̒͗̇̕c̴͙̤̱̫̿̿͐͛̅̏ ̴̝̻͙͉̇̄͜r̸̬̃ĕ̷̘̘͈̰̰͎v̶͍̣̞͑̅e̵͚̬͆̽ȁ̸͎̘̱̪̙́̎̾̒͘ḷ̶͚̋̅̀̓͘͝ ̸̨̈͛́͜n̸͇̥̳͇̈́͝e̶͓̦̫͋̎͐̿͗̀a̸͔̪̬͆̍̀̓r̴͍̣͋͛̉͒͊ ̸̞̱̎͛̀͆t̷̼̀͗̐͝h̴̳͓͉́͑̐̾̽̌ȇ̸̻ ̵̬̳̼͔͂̌̆̔̆́e̶̛̘̬̳͌̍̿͜n̶̝͍͐d̶͉͇̤̹͔͛̇ͅ ̸̳͍̈́̔̚̚ŏ̴̢̨̢̰̝̹͋̏̅͘͠f̸̢̬́̐͊ ̴̨̖͂ẗ̸̨̗͉̳̼̹́ḥ̶͓̩̼̯̅é̶̛͇̥̫̘͇͇̏̕ ̴̨̛̑̍́̂S̸̖̮͕̆̌a̸̛͔͆͐g̶̟̺̼̟͓̟͗͊ȁ̷̜̰̲͉̎̓͆̒͘'̷̪̼̑ş̶̬̗̫̙̍̄͗ ̷̢̛̻͍̤̞̟̓̽s̴͈̬͋̈͂̆͠t̶̢̢̪͎̳̃̑̓̚ỏ̸̫̘̖͈̌͘r̸̠̦̰̲͚̓͊̾̃͗͑͜y̵̞̖͈̋̾͐̽͑̚l̴̹̈́͑̄̉̊͝i̸̞̬͙͉͇̺͛͛̍͑̕n̵̢̞̝̉̀͌̽e̸̩͚̝̘̜̻͋̓̕.̸̢̢̧̬̗͂̍̑́͘