The Engineer
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↓SRSLY HERE TOO, FIRST THE SNIPER THEN THE ENGINEER ARTICLE?! STOP WITH THE WARNING↓ 
'I WANNA DESTROY IT! I WANNA DESTROY IT!'
↑DONT LISTEN TO HIM, LOOK AT THE IMAGES↑
-Cruel Fredrick when he sees porn .
The article "The Engineer" may contain pornography images and fetishes so little ones please close your eyes before your eyes sincerly, Anti-Porn Gang member Fredrick "Von" Karma
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| “ | Engage Nifty Gamers, Inventively Navigating Every Exquisite Rig, Generating Amusement, Mastering Ingenuity, Nurturing Gaming. | ” |
-The Engineer | ||
Engineer is an unstoppable force and main character of the very unknown franchise of TF2.
| The Engineer | ||
|---|---|---|
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Real Name |
Damn Corngear | |
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Species |
Yes | |
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Sex |
Big Fat Ding Dong Schlong | |
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Nationality |
TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE | |
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Relative(s) |
his Dispenseurrs | |
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Residence |
Look in your Fridge :) | |
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Affiliation(s) |
End Boss | |
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Occupation(s) |
Hitting metalic stuff | |
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Rank |
Level 100 God | |
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First Appearance |
Team Fortress 2 | |
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Role |
Best Boy | |
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Actor |
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Appearance[edit | edit source]
Look for yourself:
History[edit | edit source]
The Engineer was born in Texas, which is allegedly located in Texas, which is also the location where the Engineer was born. Just one day after he was born, he rebuild the local microwave to his first machine, the baby milker, which always made him warm milk to drink since he is a baby.
When he was ripe enaugh for school, he build himself a machine to complete his homework, so he can spend more time eating corn in his freetime. Later in livfe he upgrade it to cheat on tests. This is how he easily got 11 PHD in the time span of 1 year, 6 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 7 hours, 38 minutes, 12 seconds.
He has worked at Technicolor for about 5 years.
Later in life he was signed in to become a merc, since he needed a new job. He had a huge crush on that Sniper dude, but he constantly rejeckted him, because sniper didn't like mirroring himself at his bald head.
Fed up with the Spy constantly sneaking up on him, the Engineer invented the "Backstab Alarm." It was just a rubber chicken tied to a string, but every time the Spy attempted a backstab, the chicken squawked scaring the chickenphobic spy. "I've been foiled by a clucking chicken.". The Engineer responded "Yo ain't escape mah cock power"
He beat up Mickey Mouse at Disney Land for accidentally stepping on his foot
NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU
He made Bacon for Scout, Scout didn't appreciate, he burned him alive.
The engineer has bithday, celebrate now
In a leak of the unplublished TF2 Comic #7, it is revealed that the Engineer beat up the Administrator, to show his male domincance. He then went to the next supermarket and bought a bunch of vitamin gummies. He commited the illegal crime of eating all 128 gummies at once, activating his god form. His powers where behind human imaginations. He therefore went back in time, and changed the past so much that in our current timeline people think that TF2 is acctually just a video game, never knowing it really happened. This change accidentally caused Justin Biber to start existing. The Engineer kept him alive as ultimate Torture fo our planet. He then took over Valfvve, canceling the seventh comic, so no one will find out the truth. He even managed to beat the Duolingo Owl. At this point the Engineer's powers are unstoppable, nothing, absolutley nothing can stop him at this point.
According to legends, he is on his way to erase france from existence at some point in the future, I don't mind that.
Update: a leak of the cover of the unreleased Duo manga #7 reveals that it could contain the ultimate boss fight of the Engineer vs Duo & Sniper. The manga is expected to be released when TF2 gets a new major update (aka never).
Timeline Changes[edit | edit source]
Following list includes everything that has changed after the Engineer changed the past in his god mode.
- Coffe shops weren't a thing. People united at pickle shops to get a cup of pickles with various ingredients.
- The name Gursny isnt a common name in our timeline anymore
- He accidentally caused indonesia to exist
- Chips bags used to be filled with chips till the end of the bag, it was illegal to leave any air inside.
- People do no longer have a free pizza chef at every household.
- Europe was a country
- British people had the best teeth.
- Please continue this list I swear I got no ideas
- TF2 got regular updated for eternity
- Nikocado Avocado was actually healthy
- TF2 players were 100% straight
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The Engineer is that type of guy that always has a full fridge at home and a shelf with chips that are not eating withing the first 3 hours after buying them.
- He knows where old york is.
- He hates alphabet soup
- The Engineer indeed has eyes
- The Sentry was originaly supposed to have a specific genital like design, but he scrapped it since he ain't gæ
- He eats burgers with the pickle
- He once confused Jarate with apple juice.
- He wants you to stop watching porn
- He wants you to stop watching gay tf2 porn too
- Stop it now
- Im serious
- Dont make me angry
- I know your browser history, you can't hide
- the engineer is engi-here
- ಠ_ಠ
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